I constantly worry about how my orientation would be perceived at work. I have to control every aspect of my life, pretending to be ‘normal,’ including monitoring my social media and leisure activities, so no one finds out who I am and reports it to my employer.

That means double-checking every post, avoiding certain conversations, and even dressing in ways that feel inauthentic. The office environment itself is stifling—casual homophobic jokes, offhand remarks about ‘proper values,’ and the unspoken knowledge that even a rumor could ruin everything.

Unfortunately, I work in a school tied to government structures, and we all know the kind of harassment teachers can face for even slightly stepping outside the lines. Even after work, I have to weigh every social outing against the risk of being seen in the wrong place, with the wrong people.

I know that if I didn’t have to worry about this, life would be much easier—no constant pressure, no total control over my every move. In rare moments, when I’m alone or with trusted friends, I feel a glimpse of relief. But that fear, the need to hide, never fully disappears.